I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
