I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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