I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
And then he peed in my hair
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