Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
