i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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