I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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