this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
