Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
