I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
