I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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