don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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