Porn is love you can see.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
