upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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