I heard we made out
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
