Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i now understand why vodka
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
