Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
