she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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