Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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