My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
