I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
