Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
