Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
someone owes me an orgasm
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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