Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
