More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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