thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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