Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
