He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
