very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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