she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
