Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
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