I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
