So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
no you cant smoke seaweed
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
