Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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