dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
