I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize