She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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