NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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