you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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