): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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