And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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