i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
