I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize