she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize