i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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