You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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