I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
