So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
