curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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