I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
