I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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