Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i barfeds in our rink
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
