We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
