I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
