I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
