You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
