it was like his penis was on wheels.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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