We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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