I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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