; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
