She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
