Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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