we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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