It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
