rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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