I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
