Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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