Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
